I thought the ground would crumble beneath me when I left you,
that I’d sink into the earth and the soft damp soil would fill my lungs.
Yet here I am on solid ground.
I didn’t think I would survive it.
I didn’t think I would find the strength to go through with it.
Loving you was hard.
Not because you were unlovable,
but because of how little you loved yourself.
You taught me that it’s impossible to show someone how to love.
You taught me that sometimes you need to love from a distance.
Most importantly, you taught me that love can’t fix everything.
I let you hurt me because I thought I deserved it, and that’s my fault.
I thought that by fixing you I’d somehow mend my own scars.
I was hoping for an impossibility.
Our love was a fire fueled with gasoline.
flaming, untamable, bound to end in disaster.
You scorched my heart, all the while I was blinded by your smokey haze.
I won’t deny that our love, though turbulent, was quite remarkable.
And yes, goodbyes cause my heart to plummet all the way to my stomach,
but my soul can’t hold onto you anymore.
Our fire, however warm and lovely, must perish sometime.
The last ambers have settled and the spark has finally gone out.
So this is it, my final goodbye to you.