What can I say about the year 2020? More like, what can’t I say? I can’t say it was like any other year I’ve experienced. Unlike most people though, I can’t say 2020 was completely grim.
Yes, there were definitely a lot of terrible things that happened this past year. People getting sick, businesses closing down, being stuck inside. However, during these struggles, or even because of them, I had surprisingly good moments, and I decided to let those moments define my year.
Months of being secluded actually worked in my favor. It may sound crazy, but being in quarantine forced me to look at myself in the mirror and realize how stagnant my plans and goals were. Up until this year, I felt as though I was making no real progress toward my aspirations of being a professional writer. I mean, yeah, I was in school, writing nearly every day, but for me, that wasn’t enough. For months I had planned on starting a blog and publishing my work but had done nothing toward it. I always made an excuse as to why I couldn’t start. Here’s the thing though, being confined to my house made me see just how much time I wasted in a day doing countless unproductive things like scrolling through social media, and binge-watching t.v. shows.
After quarantine began, I was faced with an unsettling truth- creating an endless list of excuses was how I rationalized my lack of effort toward my future goals. Saying that aloud sounds like the most obvious thing ever, but really think about it. How many of us want to do something but talk ourselves out of it using futile justifications as a clutch? We aren’t even aware we do it, we’re simply so used to telling ourselves less important things should come first when in reality we just don’t want to carve out the time or energy. Being stuck at home was like a harsh slap in the face. It was a difficult truth to face, accepting that I was my own worst enemy, that I was the reason for my lack of progress. Now, I could beat myself up over it, and I did momentarily, I’ll admit. Right after though I told myself that something had to change, and that’s when I sat down and wrote out a game plan.
I went through all my half-finished work and gave each piece the time and attention needed. I started writing more openly as well, not worrying so much about how others would perceive it. The ability to live for myself was another thing quarantine gifted me with. All those days being alone with my thoughts made me realize I needed to start making moves without other people’s opinions in the back of my head. That meant believing in my abilities and trusting myself and my skills.
Motivating yourself can be a daunting task at first, especially when it’s so easy to talk yourself out of something and leave no possibility of failure. This is why it’s so important to have a healthy support group around you. This past year I began only surrounding myself around those who were motivated and working toward something good like I was. Having people around who omit bad vibes just hinders your own process.
All in all, 2020 had its share of loss, anger, deceit, and let downs just for starters, but I can honestly say I’m grateful for it all. I know I’m better off having experienced such struggles because they forced me to tap into an inner strength I didn’t even know I had. I learned a lot in those 12 months. I learned to love myself, the good and the not so good. I learned to trust my intuition. The biggest lesson I learned this year was this- seemingly bad situations are only bad from one point of view.
Here’s to manifesting a great year for us all!
Nia Rose Writes 